Distractions

It’s just before 7am and I’ve been awake for a while.  When I realized I was not going to be able to fall back asleep, I knew I had to get up and take advantage of a quiet moment to write.  I have really missed updating the blog the past month or so and really appreciate those of you who’ve asked me to write again.  Two ladies Skip didn’t know at a wedding a few weeks back actually came up and asked him when I was going to post again because they check everyday.   Ever since school started back, between teaching online, teaching with new technology in my high school classroom (one to one laptops, people!), planning my maternity leave, two-three times a week doctor visits, coordinating visitation and trying to keep Baby A’s birth mom happy, and soaking up what’s left of her only-childhood, I have gone to bed many nights promising myself I’d writing in the morning.  Lots of my distractions have also been my salvation leading up to Layla’s scheduled induction this Tuesday, so I wanted to share a little bit about a few things that have kept me hopping.

Teaching has always been my passion.  I knew in 9^th grade I wanted to be a teacher.  I knew then that even though I didn’t love reading like most of my English teachers did, I loved words themselves enough to make up for it.  Luckily, my love of literature kicked in in college and I basically love everything about my job.  This year has been no different and I have some of the best students I’ve ever had.  In many ways I’ve left like a first year teacher learning new technology tricks and upping my game in the digital age.  It’s been challenging and caused me to reflect on my teaching practices and has been very, very time consuming.  The good news is, I THINK it will make maternity leave a bit easier since I can communicate with my students online and assign work through my class website.  I left school yesterday after 4PM and spent another few hours last night getting stuff planned.   I don’t feel ready to be gone for over six weeks, but who ever really does?

I’ve been teaching online for the past two years, and although it’s not my high school English classroom, I enjoy it a lot, too.  The first few semesters, I used another teacher’s online layout and most of her assignments.  I wasn’t crazy about all she did, but it was done and on Moodle and I wasn’t 100% sure how to make major changes without screwing up the grading system.  Then the state changed the curriculum and change on my end was inevitable.  They even adopted a new textbook that I received in the mail in May.  My summer class didn’t meet enrollment, so I didn’t teach this summer.  When I began preparing for this year (in August), I totally forgot about the book I’d gotten in May and did an overhaul of my existing course online while sitting for my three hour glucose test.  Fast-forward to the first day of class and my email blows up with confused students who’ve never heard of the text posted for my class.  EPIC fail.  EVERY SINGLE ASSIGNMENT I’d created was not usable.  Turns out I had been left off a few department emails that would’ve clued me in sooner to my unbelievable blunder, but ultimately I had no one to blame but myself.  I’ve been playing catch up ever since trying to  stay a few weeks ahead of my students and ultimately get the whole 12 weeks assigned before Layla’s scheduled arrival.  I’ve got two weeks to go and three days “to go” in.  We’ll see.  They might get to draw me a picture for the last week!

Amidst all the lesson planning and maternity leave planning, my MFM decided that at 32 weeks, I would begin NSTs twice a week and have an ultrasound once every three weeks.  This would be in addition to my bi-weekly OB checks.  Basically, since the first week in September, I’ve been at CMC Northeast two and three times a week.  I’m grateful for the monitoring, but the scheduling of it all has been somewhat unbearable. If it weren’t for amazing co-workers that didn’t mind covering my classes, I would’ve lost a lot of sick days and possibly what’s left of my mind.  I scheduled as much as possible for after school, but that was not always an option and I ended up coming in late or leaving early quite a bit.

When the MFM fist mentioned the NST schedule to me, admitting that it was a “just in case” kind of thing and could not really prevent what happened last time from happening again, I had a few “is this really necessary” thoughts.  If what they say about last time is true (and I believe that it is) and there was nothing we could’ve done to prevent Levi’s death, then what would we be monitoring anyway?  At the 31 week mark, I had been probably more calm than most would believe and assumed I would be that way throughout.  And I haven’t been “not calm” but boy have I relished in those afternoons with the uncomfortable Velcro band cutting into my chubby sides and listening to our girl’s heartbeat.  The closer I’ve gotten to 37 weeks 3 days (I’m 37 weeks today!) the more nervous I’ve become.  Just knowing that an NST was on the horizon made this old girl feel loads better.  I’m so grateful for those in the medical profession.  It’s amazing to me all they know and can do today.  From the receptionist that scans my palm to the finger-pricker lady, everyone in my doctor’s office and the MFM office has been wonderful.  They’re rooting for a healthy baby right along with us. 

Of course, our biggest and most favorite distraction has been Baby A.  Amoura is the absolute light of our lives and we are so lucky that God has let us be her parents for the last seven months.  There’s so much to share about her, but I think she’s waking up, so I’ll have to save it for another day.  Hopefully, the next time I write, I’ll have two baby girls to write about!