Typos and Other Major Transgressions

I am a pretty great speller.  I remember studying for spelling tests in elementary school and almost always making a 100!  I'm really good at grammar too; I make a living teaching it.  So, you can imagine my embarrassment when my Aunt called me out on the typos in this blog.  I try to spell check, really I do!  It's just when it's your words, you don't always catch the wrong ones!  As many times as I've read and reread my posts, I have never noticed a published typo! 

Even since the typos were brought to my attention, I have been trying to find time to get online and try to find them and fix them.  I've mentally obsessed over this way more than I should have.  Since I'm kindof a perfectionist, this came as a big blow to my pride.  It also came, however, with a good lesson learned...

I have a tendency to find fault with others when I shouldn't.  I resist correcting the facebook walls of others on a daily basis.  (Sometimes I share errors I've seen with my English teacher friends and we cringe at the thought!)  I used to circle mistakes in the church bulletin instead of listening to the sermon. On a non-grammatical but equally shameful note, just last week I corrected Skip for singing a song lyric slightly wrong.

As appreciative as I was for my Aunt's candor, a part of me was embarrassed (and in utter disbelief).  My mom, who reads my blog and prints it off to share with others, had never mentioned my mistakes.  When I asked if she had ever noticed, she admitted she had.  Yet, in all the bragging and discussing we've done since I started this blog, she'd never said anything about them.  She didn't feel the need to point out my flaws; she appreciated the good stuff and moved past the rest.  That's love! And that was the lesson.  Love more, judge less, and proofread.

Fitting In

     Skip and I started visiting churches almost a year ago.  It was a tough decision to leave my home church of 16 years, but ultimately, we felt that was the direction God had for us.  We’ve settled at a great church just down the road from our house and have been trying to get plugged in.  That’s hard sometimes when Skip is on the road and I am left to join in on activities alone.  We’ve made a great “friend couple” in Kimberly and Jason who look after me when Skip is away.  We’ve joined a Sunday morning growth group, are going to Financial Peace University on Sunday evenings, and I go to Zumba in the FLC twice a week.  I’m putting faces to names and learning my way around the many classroom buildings.  But, I’ve been struggling with feeling like Blackwelder Park is my church.  I still feel a little like a visitor.

     At my home church, I knew everyone.  The church was much smaller and I had grown up there.  People knew me and missed me when I was gone.  I sang in the choir, did special music solos, even had the lead in a Christmas play or two over the years.  I was the “it” girl at church.  People liked me and wanted my opinion and asked me to serve on committees.  This did nothing for me spiritually, but it was great for my ego.  And is probably a little to blame for feelings I’ve had toward my new church.

     Last night, God began to speak to these feelings I’ve been having through Crazy Love, a book I’ve been reading during my devotion time at night.  The chapter was about being lukewarm.  Here are the scriptures that stepped on my toes and woke me up a little:

       “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.” Luke 6:26

       “But all their works they do to be seen of men; they make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted by name in the marketplace…” Matthew 23:5-7.

     Wow.  Talk about a smack in the face.  I’ve been focusing on my feelings of not fitting in rather than focusing on the growth I’ve experienced in my walk with the Lord.  My worship on Sunday morning is genuine and my fellowship with my Father is growing.  So what if not everyone knows my name.  Maybe that will come with more time; maybe it won’t.   I don’t think it’s wrong to want to feel a sense of belonging, but I can’t make that my focus.  I have to show up with a servant’s heart and a willingness and longing for worship. Someday, I still hope to feel at home at our new church home.  But, if I never make the “in crowd” at church again, I know my place in the Kingdom is secure and the King knows my name and misses me when I’m gone. 

Blessed

     It was a normal morning.  I took the extra time to fix coffee and ran into my room exactly 7 minutes before the bell rang.   At 8:40am, I had hardly noticed that Megan hadn’t been in to say good morning and “love on” my Success kiddos.  The morning was going quickly.  When our new guidance counselor, Erin, came to my door and asked to speak to me privately in the hall, I (who am usually terrified by those kinds of things) wasn’t even alarmed.  Until she said, “Megan has been in a car accident.”  Megan was fine but Anna had “head injuries.”  They were taken by ambulance to the hospital.  I decided in an instant to leave and go be with them at the hospital.  I planned to go alone.  I even suggested I go alone.  Angi and Lee, two other Freshman Academy family members, had other plans.  They were going.   When I reasoned, “we can’t just shut down the freshman academy for the day,” Erin said, “no, but we can shut down guidance and we’ll cover for y’all as long as you need.”  In the panic of the moment, I took a huge sigh of relief and took off for the ER. 

     12 “short” hours later, Anna is stitched up and at home watching movies with her grandma and favorite aunt.  Megan is bumped and bruised and having her moments, but she will be ok too.  We joked today in the waiting room that she’ll now be making her kids sit in car seats (like Anna was properly today) AND wear bicycle helmets until they’re 40. 

     There are so many other outcomes that could have come out of this day.  It’s hard to believe that at the end of it, anyone could feel more blessed than yesterday, but I think we do.  Even Megan and Matt.  In a time when teaching in more frustrating than ever, when state rules changes daily and teachers find out by reading the daily news, when kids value their sneakers more than their education, it’s such a blessing to feel the arms of an entire high school reaching out and hear prayers going up for one of our own.