Cherish

I was going to write about our venture into the nursery last night, but as I pulled out my laptop, I remembered that tomorrow is Megan’s birthday and decided she was worth a post.  Besides, it’s much happier to write about my best friend turning another year older (than me!) and after last night, I could use something happy to dwell on. 

Megan and I have been friends ever since she came to teach at West Rowan.  We got closer when I was moved into same building and sometime between then and now, we became inseparable.  When I was pregnant for the first time in 2011, she was one of the first/only people I told.  (I gave her a letter from the baby to his/her Aunt Megan.)  She cried as much as I did when that pregnancy ended in miscarriage.  She listened to me complain about not getting pregnant again on my timetable, and was ecstatic when we finally got pregnant with Levi.  She threw me an amazing baby shower, and gave only as much advice in one sitting as I could digest.

I called her from my doctor’s office when we learned that Levi was gone.  She wept for me- hard, long sobs that only a best friend and a mother could cry.  Her daughter was having a birthday sleepover that night and her husband was not yet home.  I assured her that she did not need to come (what could she do?) and gave her a few phone calls to make for me.  A few hours later, she came to the hospital anyway.  She went home in the middle of the night and was back early the next morning.  She stayed in the room while I delivered my precious boy. 

Megan ultimately became the medium between the outside world and me. She had to tell the story of our tragedy over and over again.  She arranged my substitute for school and corrected my lesson plans when I screwed them up.  She faced a room full of students who love me the most and answered questions about my broken heart.  She arranged meals for us, made insurance inquiries, made my favorite dessert, and sat on my couch and cried.  She ordered books that she thought might offer some comfort and read them when I was finished.  She started following the baby loss blogs I follow and sent screen shots of sections that spoke to her the most.  I could go on and on.  I’m sure I’ve forgotten many of the things she did in those early days that seem to run together in the sadness of it all. 

Almost ten weeks later, there are not many days that go by that Megan doesn’t mention Levi to me.  She never makes me feel guilty for having a day that sucks less than the others and she’s made a lot of sacrifices (and so has her husband) to be there for me.  If I’ve learned one thing through all of this it’s to not take things for granted.  To cherish what you’ve got while you’ve got it.  To appreciate every moment I’m given.

Happy Birthday, Megan.  I cherish you.